You’ve been holding their hands and washing their faces since they were born. It’s difficult for parents to let go and allow their children to make mistakes and experience blunders without kissing the boo-boos and pulling out the band-aids. Instinctively, we never want our children to be hurt or disappointed and we often try to prevent mishaps from happening by dictating their future. But here’s the rub: when it comes to kids pursuing their dreams, parents can do more harm than good if they continue to interfere with their pursuits.

So, when Johnny shares his dream of being on Broadway or Susie comes home with hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model, don’t launch into a lecture on the value of a “real job” – instead, consider these tips:

Listen to your kids
It’s amazing how difficult it is for us parents to really listen to our children. We are too busy trying to manage the details of our lives that we sometimes overlook basic things such as our kids’ interests and aspirations. Talk to your kids about their goals and their dreams and listen as they tell you what they want to be when they grown up.

Keep Your Opinions to Yourself
As hard as it is, refrain from discouraging your child from exploring a particular career, even if you think it’s not in his best interest. Allow him to consider a wide variety of options and don’t prohibit him from considering any opportunity. This is the time when children need to explore. Don’t stand in their way.

Read About It
Buy them a book, surf the net or get them a library card. Encourage research by offering an environment where they can explore their choices.

Share Connections
Offer them access to some of your connections and teach them the value of networking. Keep in mind that it is important that you allow them to set appointments and attend interviews. There is nothing wrong with opening a door, as long as you let them walk through it.

Don’t Be a “Helicopter Parent”
Helicopter Parents hover. They are always on the lookout for threats to their children’s success and happiness. If a problem does surface, they are ready to swoop in and save the day. Fighting children’s battles and buffering them from life’s knocks risks raising children who will grow up without resilience and initiative.

Don’t Push Your Agenda
Pushing your daughter into law (because she would be a third-generation lawyer) when she’s really into teaching will backfire. It is important that your children find their own passion – remember no one thrives when they are miserable.

One of my favorite movies of all time is a little known flick called “October Sky”. Based on a true story, the movie is about a boy, Homer, who grew up in a mine town, the son of a coal miner. His father had dreams of his son, following in his footsteps, and possibly someday running the mine. The problem was Homer didn’t want to be a coalminer. Homer wanted to build rocket ships. He had no support from his father and little support from friends or family. “You’re a Coalwood boy! You get down there, get that shovel in your hands, coaldust on your neck, feel just as natural as a tick on a dog.”

During one of his many encounters with his dad, Homer says, “Coal mining may be your life, but it’s not mine. I’m never going down there again. I wanna go into space.” Since I only watch movies with happy endings, I can tell you that, with the support of a devoted teacher, Homer did pursue his dream and eventually became an aerospace engineer for NASA.

Most parents consider their children a reflection of them. We feel their successes and their failures and consider both a reflection on our parenting. Parents, listen up – it’s not about you! Yes, you do have a part in building character and sharing the value of making good choices. But, what you must remember is that you created a little person – complete with a whole new personality, new interests, and eventually, new goals.

Let your kids dream and dream big! The world will supply the necessary dose of hard knocks and disappointment. Love them and support them through the process and remember, just like Homer, there is no reason why they can’t reach for the stars.