I had been looking forward to the first day of kindergarten. With my son in school, I could finally find time to tackle the “to-do” list and focus on work. Even luxuries like pedicures or lunch with girlfriends were possible as long as they fell between 8:30 am and 2:45 pm! Sure I would be a little sentimental, but I was confident I could control my emotions – WRONG!!!

The tears began at breakfast and continued until long after I returned home. I did everything possible to prevent him from seeing me cry, including wearing my sunglasses into the school building. However, I knew as we walked the halls to his new classroom, he sensed my sadness. He even encouraged me with “This will be fun, Mommy.”

In my opinion, the first day of kindergarten is much harder for parents then for kids—but of course, I’m a parent. That being said, we can’t ignore the fact that this is a major developmental milestone for our children. Their little universe is turned upside down as they encounter scary new experiences amidst a disrupted routine. Morning naps are permanently abandoned and normal reactions to sharing toys are no longer tolerated (by “normal” I mean an occasional blow to a sibling if they touch the coveted Lincoln Log). There are a few things that parents can do ensure a successful transition:

1. Explore the Surroundings

   Take a summer field trip to the school. The summer is a great time to get your child comfortable with his new surroundings. Let him see a classroom, the lunchroom and even the principal’s office—with any luck, it will be his only visit. Just like the grown-up world, the fear of the unknown is often worse than the reality of the known.

2. Playdates with future Classmates

   It is easier for a child to start a new school if there are some familiar faces. Arrange some time with your child’s new classmates prior to the first day of school. Hosting a pre-school party could also help secure your status as “cool mom” while giving you an opportunity to get to know other parents.

3. Meet the Teacher

   At our school, they refuse to reveal the identity of the assigned teacher until the last possible minute. On a designated day, the classroom listings are posted on the front doors of the school. Passersby see a generation of parents who use to line up for Bon Jovi tickets (there’s even the occasional lower back tattoo, but that’s another article) lining up to see whether their child got Mrs. Anderson, and how many “Ashley’s” will be in his class. However, even with a last minute notification, I still recommend that you speak to your child’s teacher before the first day of school. This is particularly important if your child has any learning differences or behavior problems (i.e. the aforementioned reaction to sharing).

4. Keep Your Cool

   I confess I failed miserably in this category. Although I managed to avoid a complete melt down until I got into the car, I admit I got a little weepy as I watched his Spiderman backpack disappear behind the closed classroom door.

You won’t be able to hide every tear. It’s okay if they see you cry sometimes—just let them know you’re not scared, just sad to see them go. They don’t need you to be perfect, they just need to know you’re available.