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The holiday season is a time full of joy, cheer, parties, and family gatherings. However, for many people, it is a time of self-evaluation, loneliness, reflection on past failures, and anxiety about an uncertain future.

What Causes Holiday Blues?

Many factors can cause the “holiday blues”: stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, over-commercialization, financial constraints, and the inability to be with one’s family and friends. The demands of shopping, parties, family reunions, and house guests also contribute to feelings of tension. People who do not become depressed may develop other stress responses, such as: headaches, excessive drinking, over-eating, and difficulty sleeping. Even more people experience post-holiday let down after January 1. This can result from disappointments during the preceding months compounded with the excess fatigue and stress.

Coping with Stress and Depression During the Holidays

Keep expectations for the holiday season manageable. Try to set realistic goals for yourself. Pace yourself. Organize your time. Make a list and prioritize the important activities. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Do not put entire focus on just one day (i.e., Thanksgiving Day) remember it is a season of holiday sentiment and activities can be spread out (time-wise) to lessen stress and increase enjoyment.

Remember the holiday season does not banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely; there is room for these feelings to be present, even if the person chooses not to express them.

Leave “yesteryear” in the past and look toward the future. Life brings changes. Each season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don’t set yourself up in comparing today with the “good ol’ days.”

Do something for someone else. Try volunteering some time to help others.

Enjoy activities that are free, such as driving around to look at holiday decorations; going window shopping without buying; making a snowperson with children.

Be aware that excessive drinking will only increase your feelings of depression.

Try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a new way.

Spend time with supportive and caring people. Reach out and make new friends or contact someone you have not heard from for awhile.

Save time for yourself! Recharge your batteries! Let others share responsibility of activities.

Can Environment Be a Factor?

Recent studies show that some people suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) which results from fewer hours of sunlight as the days grow shorter during the winter months. Phototherapy, a treatment involving a few hours of exposure to intense light, is effective in relieving depressive symptoms in patients with SAD.

Other studies on the benefits of phototherapy found that exposure to early morning sunlight was effective in relieving seasonal depression. Recent findings, however, suggest that patients respond equally well to phototherapy whether it is scheduled in the early afternoon. This has practical applications for antidepressant treatment since it allows the use of phototherapy in the workplace as well as the home.

Stress, depression and the holidays: 12 tips for coping

Stress and depression can ruin your holidays and affect your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression.

For some people, the holidays bring unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it’s no wonder. In an effort to pull off a perfect Hallmark holiday, you might find yourself facing a dizzying array of demands — work, parties, shopping, baking, cleaning, caring for elderly parents or kids on school break, and scores of other chores. So much for peace and joy, right?

Actually, with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress and depression that often accompany the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

The trigger points of holiday stress

Holiday stress and depression are often the result of three main trigger points. Understanding these trigger points can help you plan ahead on how to accommodate them.

Here are the three areas that commonly trigger holiday stress or depression:

• Relationships. Relationships can cause turmoil, conflict or stress at any time. But tensions are often heightened during the holidays. Family misunderstandings and conflict can intensify especially if you’re all thrust together for several days. Conflicts are bound to arise with so many needs and interests to accommodate. On the other hand, if you’re facing the holidays without a loved one, you may find yourself especially lonely or sad.
• FinancesLike your relationships, your financial situation can cause stress at any time of the year. Overspending during the holidays on gifts, travel, food and entertainment can increase stress as you try to make ends meet while ensuring that everyone on your gift list is happy.
• Physical demands. The strain of shopping, attending social gatherings and preparing holiday meals can wipe you out. Feeling exhausted increases your stress, creating a vicious cycle. Exercise and sleep — good antidotes for stress and fatigue — may take a back seat to chores and errands. High demands, stress, lack of exercise, and overindulgence in food and drink — these are all ingredients for holiday illness.

12 pre-emptive strategies for holiday stress

When stress is at its peak, it’s hard to stop and regroup. Take steps to help prevent normal holiday depression from progressing into chronic depression. Try these tips:

• Acknowledge your feelings. If a loved one has recently died or you aren’t near your loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness or grief. It’s OK now and then to take time just to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
• Seek support. If you feel isolated or down, seek out family members and friends, or community, religious or social services. They can offer support and companionship. Consider volunteering at a community or religious function. Getting involved and helping others can lift your spirits and broaden your social circle. Also, enlist support for organizing holiday gatherings, as well as meal preparation and cleanup. You don’t have to go it alone. Don’t be a martyr.
• Be realistic. As families change and grow, traditions often change as well. Hold on to those you can and want to. But understand in some cases that may no longer be possible. Perhaps your entire extended family can’t gather together at your house. Instead, find new ways to celebrate together from afar, such as sharing pictures, e-mails or videotapes.
• Set differences aside. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. With stress and activity levels high, the holidays might not be conducive to making quality time for relationships. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are, they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress, too.
• Stick to a budget. Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items. Then be sure to stick to your budget. If you don’t, you could feel anxious and tense for months afterward as you struggle to pay the bills. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Donate to a charity in someone’s name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
• Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make one big food-shopping trip. That’ll help prevent a last-minute scramble to buy forgotten ingredients — and you’ll have time to make another pie, if the first one’s a flop. Allow extra time for travel so that delays won’t worsen your stress.
• Learn to say no. Believe it or not, people will understand if you can’t do certain projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you really want to do, you’ll avoid feeling resentful and overwhelmed. If it’s really not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
• Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a dietary free-for-all. Some indulgence is OK, but overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and schedule time for physical activity.
• Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Steal away to a quiet place, even if it’s the bathroom, for a few moments of solitude. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that clears your mind, slows your breathing and restores your calm.
• Rethink resolutions. Resolutions can set you up for failure if they’re unrealistic. Don’t resolve to change your whole life to make up for past excess. Instead, try to return to basic, healthy lifestyle routines. Set smaller, more specific goals with a reasonable time frame. Choose only those resolutions that help you feel valuable and provide more than only fleeting moments of happiness.
• Forget about perfection. Holiday TV specials are filled with happy endings. But in real life, people don’t usually resolve problems within an hour or two. Something always comes up. You may get stuck late at the office and miss your daughter’s school play, your sister may dredge up an old argument, you may forget to put nuts in the cake, and your mother may criticize how you and your partner are raising the kids. All in the same day. Expect and accept imperfections.
• Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for several weeks, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. You may have depression.
• Have it both ways Remember, one key to minimizing holiday stress and depression is knowing that the holidays can trigger stress and depression. Accept that things aren’t always going to go as planned. Then take active steps to manage stress and depression during the holidays. You may actually enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could.

The holidays are right around the corner — are you having fun yet? If you are, Ann Vernon would be surprised. As a counseling professor at the University of Northern Iowa with her own private practice, Vernon hears from a lot of exhausted parents this time of year. She says, “Most are striving for the Currier and Ives Christmas of their childhood, but in reality they’re dreading the holidays.”

How can you beat back the dread and have the family holiday of your dreams? “Start by lowering your expectations,” advises Vernon. “Be more realistic about what you can do. This usually involves changing the tradition — it can be equally as good, but it has to be unique to your family.” The following tips can help:

1. Reassess and Prioritize Holiday stress sets in when you try to do it all. “Stress is an emotional reaction to circumstances that you feel are out of control,” says Vernon. “To cope, take some time out, rethink what’s stressing you out, and look for alternatives.” Vernon also advises changing your demands to preferences: Tell yourself, “If I have time, I’ll do this and that. If not, I’ll only do that.”

2. Delegate! Does the house need cleaning or decorating? Let each family member be responsible for a room. Or Vernon suggests, create a “job jar.” Everybody takes a turn choosing what his or her job will be. Jobs can be color-coded according to age. “When you delegate, you have to make your expectations clear to your kids, and you may have to lower your standards a little bit,” says Vernon.

Holiday Stress-Busters: Advice for Parents

3. Don’t Give in to the “Gimmes” “I want, I want!” This familiar phrase can wear parents down over the holidays, but giving in to your child’s every request can cause financial distress. Psychologist Dorothy Cantor says, “It’s okay to tell your child that a gift is too expensive. Tell him that even Santa Claus has limited funds.”

Another way to fight the commercialism of the holidays is to beef up on the traditions that don’t cost any extra money. Vernon says, “Bake cookies, go caroling, give to needy families, or volunteer. Explain to your kids that there are a lot of families who don’t have as much as they do.” To get kids into the spirit of giving, ask them to pick a few of their old toys to donate to the less fortunate.

4. Be Realistic About Relatives When the in-laws visit this season, have realistic expectations for the short term. “Don’t try to solve past issues with family members over the holidays,” warns Vernon. “It’s not the time to bring up every little irritation. Use discretion.” And if going to a certain relative’s house every year causes a lot of holiday stress, decide if you really need to do it. Maybe you can go every other year instead.

5. Flexibility Can Buy You Time How can you get anything done when the little ones are home on vacation and you only have a few days off? University of Indiana education professor Janette Shaw suggests parents take turns looking after kids with neighbors or colleagues. And Vernon recommends hiring a babysitter to take the kids to the movies or to play with them for a few hours while you’re working around the house.

6. Set Limits for College Kids A college student home for the holidays can wreak havoc on family routines. For months now, your teen has been on his own and doing things very differently. The disruption could be the college girlfriend who plans to sleep in your son’s bed. Or perhaps your daughter is now accustomed to sleeping with the radio blaring. Whatever the case, you’ll need to set some ground rules in advance. “Everyone’s going to have to compromise during the visit,” says Vernon. “So it’s important that parents and kids be respectful of each other.”

Above all else, Vernon says parents should take it easy on themselves over the holidays: “This time of year, people are so concerned by what others might say about them if they don’t do everything perfectly.” Ask yourself what imperfection really means. Surprise! You’re human — like everyone else.

Five Signs You Need to Bust Some Holiday Stress

• You’re irritable.
• You’re losing sleep.
• You’re losing or gaining weight (this can be hard to tell around the holidays — it could just be all the good food).
• You feel tense — with muscle aches or headaches.
• You feel overwhelmed.