But Mom… I Wanted a Pony!

My mother made Christmas very special in our house. She and Santa would work hard making sure that all of the presents were displayed perfectly under the tree and that each of us got at least the top-three toys on our lists. I do remember being a little disappointed when I got a Holly Hobby record player rather than the cooler Barbie version – but other than that, she pretty much nailed it.

However, one year, she really missed the boat on my brother’s gift. He wanted Walkie-Talkies. Specifically, GI Joe Walkie Talkies. Unfortunately, he awoke to find a pair of Fisher Price Walkie Talkies that were play-like – not the real kind. In fact, they had a cord connecting the two and you had to pretend to talk to your playmate using pretend speakers. It was awful. He cried. My mother cried. It was drama all around and soiled the day for everyone.

Now that I’m a parent, I feel the same pressure as my mother to get it right without overindulging. But, it’s a little tough when your son asks for a $400 battery operated Hummer as his number one choice and a $300 electric guitar (that he doesn’t know how to play nor has any interest in learning) as a distant second. Still, I am convinced that this Christmas will be merry regardless if Santa can’t fit the Hummer on his sleigh. Here are some tips:

Get Into Giving
Before the Halloween candy gets stale, kids are bombarded with questions about what they are going to get from Santa. Few kids think about what they can do for someone else during the holidays. The reason? Because parents don’t teach generosity in the household. Colleen O’Donnell and Lyn Baker, author of “Generous Kids: Helping Your Child Experience the Joy of Giving”, say that learning to give begins at home. “Teach the habit of giving in the same way you teach your young children to tie their shoes, pick up their toys, or wash their face.” They go onto say, “if you establish this practice of giving as a part of your child’s early environment, they will accept the fact that giving is as natural as breathing and it is simply part of how their family operates.” The book also offers many examples of what families can do to get into the habit of giving.

Screen Santa’s Letter
I know he checks it twice, but it is always a good idea to talk to your kids while they are preparing their wish list for Santa. According to parenting expert, Donna Corwin, managing expectations is key. “Explain that Santa has limited room in his sleigh and that he needs to make sure that all of the boys and girls get toys.” You can also stave off any potential heartache by letting them know that Mom and Dad have lots of pull with Santa and that Santa won’t bring anything that does not get the parental green light.

Acknowledge their Feelings and Keep Yours in Check
If your attempts to manage expectations doesn’t offset the holiday meltdown, sit down with your child and acknowledge their feelings. Statements like, “that is really disappointing. I know you really wanted that toy,” can go a long way in making your five-year-old feel heard. On the other hand, statements like “Do you have any idea how much this cost??!!” “How can you be so ungrateful!!” The big thing for you is to hold it together when you see your child whining amidst a sea of wrapping paper and toys because of an absent Transformer. Don’t confuse the presence of disappointment with a lack of gratitude.

Keep in mind, that even with your best efforts, you may not be able to completely avoid a holiday tantrum. There is so much anticipation leading up to Christmas, that when it’s over, it can be somewhat of a letdown – not just for the kids, but for Mom and Dad too. Just be grateful that you can have a good night sleep without sugar-plums and Tickle-Me-Elmos dancing in your head.