I spot them mainly at the mall. Walking around in herds of like-species. Pimple faced with metal braces all holding a cell phone with fingers dancing, sending text after text to another who is often standing only a few feet away in Abercrombie & Fitch. I look at my sweet eight-year-old and my four-year-old… both so willing to hold my hand to cross the street and both so eager to run up to a giant mouse (probably disguising another of the teenage species) for a hug or a hand shake. I know this time is fleeting, but what is more depressing is what lies ahead. I can’t stand the thought of my boys moving into such awful things as wet dreams, cracking voices, and girls, girls, girls.

Realizing, however, that the days of Power Ranger pajamas are numbered, I decided to go directly to the source. My job allows me to interview lots of interesting people. However, never was I more intimidated then sitting before a panel of teenagers.

My intention was to ask a series of questions on two basic themes… 1) dating, and 2) technology. What I learned, however, is that these topics are not separate. They are so merged that the two, in essence, define a new standard of relationships. A pretty brown-haired sixteen-year-old girl explained it this way:

“Like it’s how we get to know each other. Like, you start with a text. You like flirt with a text. Then, like depending on whether it’s like cool, then you maybe talk on the cell phone. Then, like, you talk in person. But that’s sometimes weird. So, you like stop texting.”

Once I was able to cipher through all of the “likes”, I understood, and, in some ways, was able to apply this method of romance to how we did it in my day. It’s like (yes, I said “like”), passing notes in class. The only difference is that they pass 500 texts in class – no kidding. I asked these ten teenagers included in my panel how many of them texted in class. All of them (with the exception of one who had her cell phone taken away by mom and dad after receiving the $400 bill) raised their hands – and that was with their teacher present in the room.

One of the girls on the panel, this one with long, Barbie like blond hair, said this texting was kind of a bummer with regards to dating. “Like it would kinda be cool for a guy to call you on a date. Now, we like meet in groups and like we don’t have a one-on-one date.” This spoke to a new phenomenon called group dating. Today, teenagers rarely go out one-on-one. Mostly, dating is done in group settings in which a couple may choose to pair off. Parents think that there is safety in numbers, but sometimes being in a group is not a good thing.

A tall boy with curly brown hair said, “You know, when you’re with a girl, you are not as likely to be stupid. But when your with your friends, you may be more stupid.” Well said, I thought. Just think about any episode of “America’s Funniest Home Videos”. Let’s face it, most of these videos are of teen boys doing stupid things because they are in a group and therefore all rational sane thought is replaced by thinking that jumping off of a roof into a tree is a swell idea.

The lesson that I learned through this experience is that parents need to be alert to the fact that inhibitions are often left at the door when texting on when group dating. Parents need to read their teens’ texts and make sure group dating is somewhat supervised. And, of course, communication is key.

When I asked them questions about some of the horrible news stories with kids beating up other kids and then airing it on YouTube or sending obscene pictures via cell phone, all of them seem pretty disgusted with that type of behavior. However, none of them were shocked. “We see so much stuff. But it’s not who we are. My parents think that just because I like watching Gossip Girls that I would really do that kind of stuff. They raised me better than that.”

I left the experience with mixed feelings. I was sad to know that my boys will soon be exposed to the same things that these kids are so familiar with. But, I was also encouraged. These were good kids that will soon become good grown-ups. This generation is not crumbling from moral decay. But, just like with most things, it all comes down to the parenting. We set the standard and therefore set the stage. It is up to us to define that moral line in the midst of such ugly images. They really do look to us to point to right from wrong and to offer that little bit of common sense that can be difficult to find in a crowd.

You can’t hide them from it and you can’t put them in a box. Puberty will descend just like it did for us while we jammed to Bon Jovi and put more hairspray on our spiral perms. But if this generation teaches us anything, it’s that we have to be a little smarter than our parents. We need to be plugged in and up on the lingo (like knowing the difference between LMAO and LMFAO). The key is to always be in-the-know, frequently in their business, and occasionally in their face.