I think the word “hero” is tossed around too much. It’s used so often that its meaning has lost significance. The definitions vary and I have heard it applied to comic book characters, movie stars, and even pets! For me, a hero means someone who exhibits great courage and puts the needs of another before his/her own needs.

Frankly, I haven’t met many heroes. But the few that I’ve known have been, let’s just say, unconventional. I met them while working at the Gladney Center for Adoption. Through that experience, I had the privilege of witnessing families being born through the process of adoption. Often, these moments were very intense, particularly adoptions involving a birthmother. She would walk into the room, days after her delivery, and hand her precious baby to eagerly awaiting adoptive parents. All eyes were on the baby and the emotions of the adoptive parents. But I would remain focused on the birthmother- the young woman who carried her child for nine months and then selflessly choose to give the ultimate gift.

You see, birthmothers are misunderstood. People assume that these women are drug addicted, uneducated, and frankly selfish. After all, they got themselves into this situation – shouldn’t they own up to this responsibility and raise this child rather than giving their baby away??

In my nine years of experience with the Gladney Center, I never encountered a single birthmother who did not “want” her baby. What motivated her to make this decision was very simple – yet very profound: her motivation was love. In each case, these women wanted a better life for their child. They wanted their children to experience opportunities and the privilege of being in a loving, two parent family. In most cases, birthmothers have come from broken homes and understand hardship. They wish to spare their child of a similar fate. I remember one birthmother say, “If I loved you any less… I would have kept you.”