Not-So-Perfect Parent: Adoption – Is it Time?

In the opening scene of this Oscar Nominated Film, sixteen-year-old Juno shares the results of her third pregnancy test.

Rollo: So what’s the prognosis, Fertile Myrtle? Minus or plus?

Juno MacGuff: I don’t know. It’s not seasoned yet.

Juno MacGuff: Nope… There it is. The little pink plus sign is so unholy.

Rollo: That ain’t no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, Homeskillet.

In contrast to the film “Juno”, you stand in the bathroom, praying that the little pink line will appear. Maybe this time, your dream of becoming a parent will come true. Minutes pass, and your heart sinks. Months turn into years and the pain of infertility has become your reality.

After several painful and expensive fertility treatments, you are faced with a difficult decision. Adoption. Is it right for you? The process can seem very overwhelming not to mention the horror stories that you hear of birthmothers returning for their babies and international adoptions going awry. It’s hard to know where to turn.

The Gladney Center in Fort Worth, Texas is a wonderful resource for would-be parents considering adoption. Established in 1887, the Gladney Center has placed over 27,000 children in forever homes. They are the industry leader in adoption.

Jennifer Lanter, Gladney’s Outreach Supervisor, has some steps parents can takes to start the process of adoption.

Step One: Network
Find out who in your community has adopted, meet for dinner, coffee or cocktails and pick their brain about their personal experience. Find out the agency that they worked with and the challenges and joys experienced during the process. “I have found that adopted parents are eager to share details about their experience”, says Lanter. “Ask them questions about the best and the worst part of their journey.”

Step Two: Do Your Homework
Adoption is a challenging, tedious, and intimidating process. Information is your greatest tool when beginning this journey. The internet, library and bookstore can offer a wealth of information on the subject of adoption and recommended agencies. Still, Lanter cautions that you can overload on adoption information. “Sometimes too much information can confuse the process,” says Lanter. Be informed, but not obsessed. Too much information can clutter the experience.

Step Three: Attend an Orientation or Information Session
“Domestic and International Adoption have completely different processes,” says Lanter. “If you’re wavering between these two programs, attend information sessions or orientations to get the latest information.” Lanter also warns that because international adoption laws change frequently and domestic adoption requires a thorough legal process, it is essential that you work with an accredited adoption agency. “All reputable adoption agencies offer some sort of information session or orientation,” says Lanter. She suggests that you attend at least two agency information sessions before making your decision. Before settling on an agency, try to speak to someone who has gone through their process and can provide candid insights into the agency’s level of professionalism.

Step Four: Get on the Same Page
Although adoption is typically driven by women, it is important that your spouse is on board with this decision before pursuing adoption. “I suggest that couples attend a counseling session before they begin the process” says Lanter. “Having an objective third party may be helpful as couple wrestle with the idea of adoption.” Couples must rely on each as they enter this new experience. Having both parties focused on the outcome and committed to becoming a parent rather than being pregnant will help in the process.

For couples starting down the adoption road, they can expect highs and lows throughout the adoption journey. But Lanter says to have faith, “there will be a time when the trials and tribulations of adoption will be a distant memory.” Gladney guarantees that at the end of the day, your family will be connected to a child. Lanter says, “hold on to this truth and allow it to sustain you until your child comes home.”

For more information:

The Gladney Center
6300 John Ryan Drive
Fort Worth, Texas 76132
1-800-GLADNEY

www.gladney.org