He was in my arms, contently nursing while I rocked and hummed a lullaby. I closed my eyes and relaxed in the tenderness of the moment – until a sharp bite jolted me forward causing my son to fall to the floor. Using little puppy-like teeth, my not-so-precious toddler bit my nipple causing a pain so intense that my eyes water while I write these words. When I finally was able to breathe, I picked my son off the floor and was shocked to seem him giggling out loud at my reaction.

This incident and the several others that followed caused a quick weaning to the bottle. However, the biting continued, but this time the target was his older brother. It’s a common problem among toddlers that is sometimes misunderstood. In a recent article by the Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital, four different factors that cause biting are explored.

• Experimental Biting
  As toddlers begin to explore the world, sensations are often tested. That is why they are quick to pick up anything off the floor and put it in their mouths. At first, they are unable to process the difference between biting a teething toy and biting on a sibling’s arm. Both are soft and chewy and therefore fair game at that age.

• Frustration Biting
  This is a common problem in play groups. When it’s taking too long for his turn at “Duck Duck Goose” or when he doesn’t want to share his animal crackers, biting becomes an outlet for frustration.

• Powerless Biting
  I noticed that my youngest would bite his big brother when he yanked the ball away or beat him in a race to the tree house. It was a way he could maintain some sort of power over his stronger, faster, and older brother.

• Stressful Biting
  This type of biting occurs if a child is under some sort of emotional stress. For example, a new day care or a change in schedule can cause a child to act out in the form of biting.
  (www.lpch.org/diseasehealthinfo/healthlibrary/growth/biting.html)

Okay, so what can we do to stop this painful habit? According to Elizabeth Pantley, author of “Gentle Baby Care” and “The No-Cry Sleep Solution” understanding that “your child’s actions are normal, and that they aren’t intentional misbehavior, you will be able to take the right steps to teach her how to communicate her anger and frustration” (www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/ep/biting.html). Some steps I suggest include:

• Watch and intercept
  Now that you understand the reason behind the biting behavior, you can watch for or avoid circumstances that lead to the painful chomp. For example, redirect your child when you see him become frustrated over a missed turn on the swing or when he is engaged in a tug-of-war with a favorite toy.

• The Mad Pillow
  The Mad Pillow can serve as a great outlet for anger. Punching, hitting and even biting a pillow can serve as a way of releasing aggression without injuring a sibling or a playmate. (http://gaga.essortment.com/toddlersbiting_rbfi.htm)

• Discipline
  Although it is considered a “no-no” to bite your child back as a way to show him how it feels, it is important you respond immediately and firmly. Look him in the eye and say, “Biting hurts! We Don’t Bite!” I also recommend a time-out to reinforce the seriousness of the violation.

• Focus on Injured Child
  Insist that your child apologize to the injured friend. If he is too young for words, suggest that he offer a hug as a way of expressing remorse. In addition, it’s important you speak to the parents of the wounded companion and let them know that you addressed the situation with your child.

Also remember that biting is common among many toddlers and does not necessarily reflect poor parenting. In the March issue of “Parents Magazine”, Bettina Siegel (2007, p. 76) writes, “Whether you’re a stay-at-home or working mom, it’s all too easy to view your son’s or daughter’s achievement – and their less than stellar antics as something that can be blamed on you. But Lily’s biting forced me to put a healthier distance between my kids and my ego.”

Although discipline tactics do work to curb this behavior, in many cases, children simply pass through this stage on their own timetable. Be patient and stay consistent. It may take a while for your toddler to grow out of this painful habit – in spite of your eagerness to nip it in the bud (pun intended).