The game started at 100 degrees and seemed to get 10 degrees hotter every minute I sat outside with my very unhappy 6-year-old as we painfully watched extra innings in big-brothers baseball game. The Gods were against us when our team surprisingly scored a game-tying run when the second baseman over threw homebase aiming instead at the sweaty spectators on the scalding hot metal bleachers.
My six-year-old let out a cry (that did not at all resemble a cheer) and fell to the dirt in exasperation that this scorching game was going to continue into extra innings. What made it worse was the hyper-prepared mommy that sat immediately next to the blistering bleachers.
Not only did she arrive with the obligatory water bottles – this over achiever came with a tent! Yes, a tent! A tent that had battery operated fans, squirt guns, water balloons, and 5 collapsible chairs with cup holders, leg rests and names embroidered on the back of each one. I hated her. Watching her made me hot with heat and hot with envy.
Luke looked at her and then looked back at me. Before he opened his mouth I put my hand up and said, “Don’t even go there!” He shut his mouth and slumped his shoulders. “Look honey,” I said. “Mommy brought an umbrella that can give us a little shade.” I opened it – and yes, you guessed it – the fabric had popped off the metal frame rendering it useless.
Polly Perfect glanced over at me and gave me a weak “what kind of mother are you?” smile that left me feeling defeated. And then…. My field of Nightmares turned into a Field of Dreams. A breeze (that could only have come by my sympathetic angel flapping her wings in revenge) caused the tent to fly up and over two sweaty bystanders and land upside down in a crumpled heap. Chaos ensued! The collapsible chairs collapsed, water spilled everywhere and the portable fans spun round and round in a circle in the dirt until someone could stand them right side up.
Everything soon returned to normal and Luke and I resumed our position on the metal bleachers while Polly Perfect (not feeling as Perfect) was able to re-pitch the tent before the final runner came home. My heart went out to her – because now we were bonded. Even when we try to be as prepared as possible – a bee-sting, or tummy ache, or spilt cheerios, or an unexpected wind will keep all of us card-carrying life-time members of the not-so-perfect club!
Oh Paige, you make me smile!