The (Not So) Perfect Parent

The New “Easybake Oven” makes it difficult to be creative. Most of my unconventional recipes did not work – largely because they exceeded the .25 height requirement. As long as you are not preoccupied with making it look pretty – here are some recipes that can be squished to fit!

CHEESY TWISTS
8 ounce can refrigerator cresent rolls
2 teaspoons Butter; melted
1/2 cup cheese; grated
garlic salt

Divide dough in half. Press into 2 rectangles. Press perforations to seal.
Brush first rectangle with butter, sprinkle with cheese and garlic salt.
Place second rectangle of dough on top of first.
Cut into 1/2″ strips.Twist each strip five times. Squeeze ends to seal.
Place on ungreased pan and bake in Easy-Bake Oven until golden brown.

Cherry Danish
Categories: Breads and Biscuits
1/4 cup biscuit mix
1/2 tablespoon margarine
3/4 teaspoon Sugar
4 teaspoons milk
1/2 tablespoon cherry pie filling

Combine baking mix, margarine and sugar. Mix until crumbly. Stir in milk until dough forms then beat 15 strokes.
Drop by 1/2 teaspoonful onto lightly greased baking pan. Indent by pressing thumb into middle. Fill indent with cherry pie filling.
Bake in Easy-Bake Oven until golden brown. Drizzle frosting over top.

To Make Frosting:
Use 1 teaspoon water and little vanilla. Add powdered sugar, mixing until smooth until desired consistency.

Cheesy Potato Hot Dogs
Categories: Main Dishes
2 hot dogs
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
cheddar or parmesan cheese; grated

Slice hot dogs into thirds. Split hot dogs the long way (not quite all the way through).
Fill split opening with mashed potatoes. Sprinkle top with cheese.
Bake in Easy-Bake Oven about 15 minutes or until heated through and slightly browned on top.

Gone are the days where meditation is reserved for new-age junkies that sit on a mountain top crossed legged chanting “Om”. Meditation has become more main stream and millions of people are benefiting from meditation’s therapeutic effects. But for moms who are juggling everything from soccer practices to conference calls, finding time to take a breather seems impossible. After all, where does meditation fit on the to-do list?

According to Miranda Davis, a Yoga and Meditation Master Trainer, meditation should become a part of a daily routine. “Meditation can benefit parents by taking us out of the busyness of life,” she says. “It requires us to go within and renew our minds and bodies.” Davis goes on to say, “Consider meditation as a method for daily renewal. It is an excellent tool for dealing with the everyday stress of parenting.” But how does a frazzled parent begin? Here are a few tips:

Find the Time
Finding the time to take a shower seems like a luxury let alone carving out time for meditation. However, the good news is that meditation does not require two hours apart from civilization. Five to ten minutes of un-interrupted space, free from children, spouses, pets and phones is enough to restore balance and reduce stress. Although any time will do, many experts suggest that the best time to meditate is within the hour-in-a-half before dawn or before dusk (http://momstoday.com/resources/articles/meditation.htm). If you’re worried that your body will calm right down into an unplanned slumber, Davis says “you may choose to set a timer which can help you stay on schedule.”

Setting the Stage
It just takes a little corner – a small space where you are away from distractions. An exercise mat and a few pillows will provide additional comfort. It is also recommended that you use lighting to assist in the process. Davis says, “We want to create a mood by lighting candles, playing soothing music, and using aromatherapy. This will make the space more conducive for relaxation.”

Take a Breather
There is really very little mystery about meditation. It simply begins with breathing. “When we begin meditation, we start with the breath as it is said to be the key in releasing the distractions of the mind,” says Davis. You want to lengthen the breath, slow and rhythmic– inhaling for four counts and exhaling for four counts. Breathing helps clear the mind of daily stresses. According to Davis, meditation can begin and end with controlled breathing. “For some that may be all that time will allow. You can certainly find the time to breathe deeply and clear the mind of the day’s stresses.”

Affirm and Focus
Other ways to enhance your meditation include focus and affirmations. By focusing on an object – a candle, a picture, or some sort of trinket – the image can be replicated in the mind after the eyes are closed. By releasing that image, you are in a meditative space. In addition, using positive affirmations can further enhance the experience. “Anything that is uplifting and encouraging can be used. This is basic and easy to follow. Repeating silently, ‘I am relaxed, I am calm.’ Repeating as necessary until this thought becomes a feeling.” That feeling can help sustain your sanity as you battle the details of life.

For moms, life is not really a balancing act – it’s more of a juggling act. We do our best to keep as many balls in the air before they come crashing down. Meditation offers an opportunity to restore internal balance and better equips us to deal with our daily drama. So find your little corner of the world and spend some time in focused harmony. Your soul will thank you!

I am not much for New Year’s Resolutions. The truth is, I will probably still have the extra 10 pounds (if not more) when December rolls around and it is unlikely that I will take that girl’s trip to Italy. However, there is one resolution that I really want to keep. I am calling it “Reading Resolution” – pretty catchy huh?

Not only do I want to add more to my personal reading list than soup labels and Pier One catalogs, I am also committed to reading more with my children. Our reading routine is inconsistent and sometimes sacrificed for sports, homework, and yes – T.V. Frankly, it had not been a big priority and I had done a lousy job leading by example (putting a television in my bedroom was a BIG mistake). However, someone once wrote, “The failure to read good books both enfeebles the vision and strengthens our most fatal tendency – the belief that the here and now is all there is” – Alan Bloom. The best way to get kids outside of their little worlds is through reading and I hope to provide the following structure to begin this process.

Book Hunt
It is off the library!! Now that my oldest is a proud owner of his first library card, he joins me in browsing for interesting books. In addition, talking to other moms or reading book reviews is a great way to build your child’s personal library.

Family Reading Time
Having scheduled time for reading is an excellent way to incorporate books into your daily routine. Bedtime is an obvious option. However, for older kids, having time for family members to read on their own emphasizes the importance of reading while, at the same time, provides much-needed quiet time for mom or dad.

Read to me
As painful as it is to sit with your child as he struggles through “The Hungry Caterpillar” for one millionth time – it is a wonderful exercise to prepare your child for reading out loud in other environments (like in front of Sassy Susie who is in the Red Robin Reading Group). One way to make reading out loud a little less painful is to offer to alternate reading every other page or every other chapter.

Talk About It
Once you’ve finished the book, it is time to talk. This allows for greater reading retention and provides an avenue of sharing. Warning: Asking Yes or No questions will likely result in a shrug or one word answer. Instead, find a way for the story to relate to your life or your family’s experiences.

Remember when you were a kid and birthday parties consisted of cake and ice cream and a few friends? Today, bounce houses, catered food, $30 goody bags, and live entertainment are the norm for a kid who’s turning two. Parents try to outdo each other by depleting their child’s college fund on her Sweet Sixteen party.

However, some parents are reacting to this trend by organizing a campaign called “Birthdays Without Pressure. Their website (www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com) intends to start a national conversation about the absurdity of today’s birthday parties. They have a wonderful section that lists examples of extreme measures parents take to ensure a successful event. Some include:

“A Chicago party invitation requests gift worth at least $35. The mother explains that last year her child received some gifts worth only $10, which did not even cover her costs. “

“Half birthday parties (like 9.5 years) are becoming the fashion in Chicago, so that if Johnny is unfortunate enough to have a winter birthday, he can have an outdoor summer party too.”

“In one community where ponies and horses are common, parents hire a llama for their child’s party.”

“A wealthy New York father throws a $10 million party for his 13 year old daughter’s birthday, including the band Aerosmith and $10,000 gift bags.”

Those who know me recognize that I have fallen into this birthday-party-pressure-trap. Although I have managed to stay on budget, I typically spend months planning for the special day. I had convinced myself that I was not trying to make a statement, I was trying to make a memory. However, this rationale fell apart when I took the Birthday Party Pressure Quiz found on the website. I scored 18 out of 20. They recommended having 911 on my speed dial for my next party.

There are some things that I am going to be doing differently when planning the next birthday.

1. Limit the Party Guests
   The standard equation should be the child’s age + 1. For example, my son is turning 7 so eight children are the limit. However, for the mothers of boys, please keep this in mind: the adage that “two heads are better than one” does not apply to boys. The intellectual capacity among boys in one room decreases as the number of boys in that room increases. For some reason, boys do stupid things when they are around their kind.
2. No Gifts Please
   As it is, you risk your life when you open our toy closet. It has turned into a graveyard of sorts for never-played with toys. The last things my kids need are more light sabers or stuffed animals.
3. It’s Not About Me
   This is not a competition. I don’t have anything to prove. I will not be considered a bad parent if the birthday party doesn’t have a live band or chocolate fountain.

I recently went to a birthday party where the mom (who is much smarter than me) held the event in an empty gym. She threw in 20 balls and let the kids be creative. When we left my son said, “that was the best party I have ever been to!”

The lesson here is that ingredients for making a memory do not always include bells and whistles. The trick is hosting a party where your child can feel special among friends and family. It’s kinda like the kid that gets the new wagon for Christmas only to spend the morning playing with the box it came in. Kids can manage to find fun in any situation – even if it doesn’t include a pony ride.

I love to pack lunches.    I am not known for being much of a cook.   I try to be creative – but let’s just say I have a co-dependent relationship with my microwave.   However, there is one culinary duty that I have mastered… I Can Pack a Lunch!   It starts with the vessel itself.  Every year, my kids can pick their own lunch box.   It’s a splurge I don’t mind making.   It makes my kids happy and it provides the perfect backdrop to the contents inside.   Whether is Spider Man or Star Wars, I can throw-in some bug-shaped gummies or whip-up some star-shaped sandwiches!  Not to mention the note that I inscribe on the napkin complete with a quote or maybe a drawing  from Luke Skywalker or Spidey himself!

But for my 12-year-old Colt, this year was different.   He is now in the 6^th Grade and is simply too cool for school – or too cool for themed lunch boxes.   Although he is still entertained with episodes of Sponge Bob – he would not be caught dead with the yellow character on his lunch box.  No, instead, he opts for a  Brown Paper Bag.   Yes, a Brown Paper Bag.

What can I do with a Brown Paper Bag??  His peanut butter sandwich has no personality.   Even the crusts (which were always a mandatory removal) remain.   All of the other elements – yogurt, grapes and a small sack of Cheez-Its – are crammed into a dismal brown house.  The personality is gone…except for one thing.  THE NOTE.   The Napkin Note!  At least I have that.   I pull out the paper towel (I was out of napkins) and a black pen.   But before I write the first word, Colt stops me and says…. “Better Not Mom”.    I immediately put the pen down.

“Are You Okay” – Colt asks, concerned that he has hurt my feelings.

Not wanting him to see me cry I cheerfully say, “Of Course I’m Okay!”

I put the plain white napkin into his sack and discretely wipe the tears from my eyes.

But I’m NOT okay.  I’m NOT okay with it being un-cool  for him to read a note from his mom fearing that the other lunchroom kids with laugh.  I’m NOT okay with him no longer holding my hand – even if he’s scared.  I’m  NOT okay with him preferring not to be seen with me when his friends are around.

The Good News (cuz I have to have some good news) is that when we are home…he still let’s me snuggle.  He still lets me kiss his face and he doesn’t seem to mind when I tell him I love him.  I pray to God that will never, never, ever change.

Although it’s not on a napkin – I feel determined to write I LOVE YOU COLT! LOVE, MOM.

As the Dog Days of August get their hairiest, we see over the horizon what some consider the light at the end of the tunnel— while others consider it the headlight of fast approaching train—yes, it’s school again, and it’s right around the corner. If your house is like mine, back to school gets mixed reviews. Friends, recess, even cafeteria beef cutlet are real high points of the experience, but almost no one is looking forward to early mornings and afternoon homework. As with any upcoming change or experience, how families handle the impending “back-to-school” blues will be impacted, if not almost engineered, by the parents.

Here are a few tips to make the transition more manageable. As usual, most require some planning.

1. Get on the School Schedule Early
   Ask anybody—change is difficult. In my house the “early to bed, early to rise” mentality slacks off pretty well in the summer, so getting back to the school schedule is sometimes difficult. Try to get back to the school routine early and use a check list so that you are not constantly barking orders. For example, a poster that lists morning chores such as: Teeth brushed-Check! Bed Made-Check! Backpack Ready-Check! Do as much as you can the night before – avoid the clothes temper tantrum, sign the permission slips, make the lunch, etc.
2. Have a Centralized Calendar
   You’ve heard me say it before, and you will again—planning ahead is huge. One large calendar that is prominently placed will keep everyone’s minds on the various events that are up and coming. Notice I said “prominently” placed and not “conveniently” placed—I once taped a copy of the current month on the screen of the TV. My kids had to move it to watch. But we were on time for every event!
3. Start a Homework Routine
   I’m not suggesting you try to capture the curriculum online or steal last year’s exams. Instead, pick the time your child usually does homework—create one if you don’t have one now—and get them involved in some age-appropriate activity. Have them read a book, make a daily journal entry, or write a weekly recreational book report. Even better—visit the Stone Age…have them write a letter, fill out an envelope and lick a stamp. There’s a lost art for them to experience.
4. Start a “First Day of School” Tradition
   Sit down with your child for some ideas on what they feel like would be a fun tradition for the first day of school. Ours is breakfast at the nearest pancake house—but yours doesn’t have to be that much trouble. I received an email from a viewer that says that she and her child write a list of what they expect from the coming year, then put it in an envelope to read when that year is over. I think this exercise plants something in their subconscious and often they review goals that were met and successes that were experienced when they review at the end of the year.
5. Read a Book
   This time of year you can find countless books about Going to School. Bookstores and libraries make it convenient with kiosks and sections all related to the march back to the classroom. I have listed some of my favorites:“If You Take a Mouse to School” by Laura Numeroff
   Preschool/Grade School
   As continuation of the New York Times #1 Best-sellers, “If You Take a Mouse to the Movies” and “If you Give a Mouse a Cookie”, this mouse now hits the classroom. The author warns: A mouse will not only borrow your pencils but will also tag along to science class and basketball practice. So BEWARE before stashing a mouse in your lunchbox.“How do Dinosaurs go to School?” by Jane Yolen and Mark Teague
   Grade School
   This delightful book begs the question: How would a dinosaur behave in school? “Does he stir up the classroom by making a noise? Does he tease all the girls? Does he pick on the boys? No…a dinosaur carefully raises his hand. He helps out his classmates with projects they’ve planned.” Each page is illustrated with a different dinosaur that is conveniently identified at the beginning of the book. After all, it is difficult to tell a Centrosaurus from a Diplodocus.“A Smart Girl’s Guide to Starting Middle School” by Julie Williams
   Middle School Girls
   Middle school is a big transition for girls and happens in the midst of other adolescent milestones such as pimples, crushes, and that time of the month. With so many changes, having a hand book that helps her with everything from lockers to classrooms and teacher to friends, it serves as a convenient tool to stash in her backpack.

   “The Best School Year Ever” by Barbara Robinson
   Middle School
   Written by the author of my favorite Christmas tale, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever”, this story highlights the Herdman kids – otherwise known as the outlaws of Woodrow Wilson Elementary School. From smoking cigars to setting fire to things, these kids are trouble with a capital T. However, in the world of children’s books goodness can be found in anyone, even the crazy Herdman clan. A great read and a great message.

If I were to give the Cliff Notes version of back-to-school, I would say ease your family back into the routines a little at a time, rather than jumping in full speed when the school bell rings. Hopefully these little tips will make Back-to-School fun—or at least take some of the trauma from the drama.