The Not-So-Perfect Parent » 4 – Laugh at Yourself

Fat Bottom Girls

Paige — Fri, 21 May 2010 07:23:01 +0000

As some of you may know, we have exposed our kids to a wide variety of music. Included in the “Barney” mix are a few classic rock favorites. My kids love to jam to Boston, Journey, Queen, and Steve Miller Band. In addition, our bedtime ritual often includes more than stories and a prayer.Last night, we played a little bedtime charades. As daddy acted out the clues, the kids guessed:

“Song!” shouts Luke

“Three Words” chimes Colt.

My husband points to me.

“FAT BOTTOM GIRLS!!!!!!!!” they scream in unison.

Rain & Waterparks

Paige — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:02:22 +0000

We took the kids to a water park as a final send off to summer. I have to confess, I am not a big fan of water parks. Being that close to half-naked people kinda eeks me out. Not to mention the fact that the same people who have season passes to Renaissance Festivals are VIP members of water parks. To make matters worse, it was raining – I mean pouring buckets. I have not been that wet for such a sustained period of time in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I expected to get wet. But not continuously, from all angles for 4 ½ hours. I kept praying for a little lightening so that they would shut the sucker down. But alas, no lightning in sight – just lots and lots of rain.

The good news is that it wasn’t crowded. Most people were smart enough to stay home. But not us – we packed a cooler and ate soggy sandwiches and stuck it out until my youngest lips started turning purple. You see, it was cold. Especially when we were standing in line at the top of the “Master Blaster” water slide where sheets of rain powered by 30 mile-an-hour winds made an August morning down right blustery. For a fleeting moment, I considered snuggling up to the big guy with a dragon tattoo and a hairy back. Instead, I discretely used him to shield my son until it was our turn to take the ride.

Overall, it was a great day and I got MAJOR cool mom points. Looking back, I would not have traded blue skies and sunshine for our monsoon conditions. By adding a little rain to a water park, we made a wet memory even wetter and a good memory even better.

Size Matters

Paige — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:00:33 +0000

A friend of mine was getting her son ready for school and was surprised to see how short his jeans had become. “Wow! You have gotten so much taller!” she said. “We are going to need to move you up to a size 8.” “Well that makes sense, Mom,” he replied. “I wore a size 7 when I was seven. Now that I’m eight, I need a size 8.” “Very True!” she replied.

Silence and then, “So Mom, does that mean you wear a size 40!”

School Project

Paige — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:56:13 +0000

My oldest son, Colt, was doing a school project on the power of advertising. He was asked to create a flyer that included a message intended to influence other people to take action. I sat with him as he pondered his options. His eyes widened and he said,

“I know what my poster should say!! ‘Always Kiss Your Mother Goodnight!’”

I sat there, overwhelmed by his charm. Tears started to well and I reached out and said, “That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard!”

Colt pushed back and stared at me in disbelief. “Mom, I was kidding! I couldn’t write that on a poster!! Are you crazy??!!”

He went with “More Soda = Better Burps!”