The (Not So) Perfect Parent

“the truth is….kids lie. This fact includes even OUR precious angels. But parents don’t feel too bad – its actually a part of the developmental process. Still parents must address this trust buster and find ways to prevent kids from telling lies. I developed (okay that’s a lie) my much more creative sister developed a game that highlights consequences for being stuck in a web of lives. Feel free to print this out to use on your little pests!

Game Pieces

On tomorrow’s show, I will be interviewing the Crockin’ Girls – two Texas moms who have become a Face-Book phenomenon because of their love of slow cooking.   With over a half-million likes to their page, it got me to wondering… what was it about the humble Crock-Pot that seems to resonate with so many.   Maybe in this fast-paced world that we all live, there are lessons we can learn from this culinary tortoise among hares!

Preparation

One of the biggest advantages of crock-pot cooking is being able to prepare a meal in advance. At the end of a long day – moms can still get a Gold Star in the “Home Cooked Meal” category even after packing lunches, working 8 hours, doing four loads of laundry, monitoring homework, and remembering to bring cupcakes to the class party.  Think about it – if we took the same amount of time to plan our day as we did to put a roast in the crock pot – we would be unstoppable!  Taking a few minutes at the beginning of a day (or the night before) can allow you to stay on track with your goals and objectives.  Preparation allows you to Savor the Day!

Slow and Easy

When it comes to Crock-Pot cooking – the slower the better!!  But for most of us – we only know one speed – FAST.  We rush to get the kids up, we rush to get them out the door, we rush to work, we rush to make carpool and, at the end of the day, we rush through baseball practice, dinner, and homework.  In fact – life becomes a blur of to-do lists that even the most accomplished check-mark cannot conquer.  But does faster mean better?  If you are rushing from one task to another – are you doing anything well?  That goes for marriage, parenting, and yes – cooking!  Let’s face it – the Microwave will NEVER beat the Crock-Pot (except, of course, for popcorn!).

Bringing it Home

A Crock-Pot meal equals a home-cooked meal.   The aroma of the crock-pot reeks the essence of “home” and welcomes family members, and even strangers, into it’s safe interior.   It communicates love – not the blazing passionate kind that can be easily extinguished with a water hose or a cold shower – but rather the enduring kind that flickers in spite of crying babies, financial loses, and wrinkled faces.   The Crock-Pot meal brings people to the table and fosters the kind of conversations that can only be exchanged in the context of home.   It is not refined and prefers to be placed on the plastic placemat with 2^nd Grade handprints rather than the linen counterpart.  It is familiar and easy and allows the overworked lawyer, the unappreciated teacher, the undervalued parent, the heartbroken teenager, and the weary soldier to say, “I’m Home.”

The New “Easybake Oven” makes it difficult to be creative. Most of my unconventional recipes did not work – largely because they exceeded the .25 height requirement. As long as you are not preoccupied with making it look pretty – here are some recipes that can be squished to fit!

CHEESY TWISTS
8 ounce can refrigerator cresent rolls
2 teaspoons Butter; melted
1/2 cup cheese; grated
garlic salt

Divide dough in half. Press into 2 rectangles. Press perforations to seal.
Brush first rectangle with butter, sprinkle with cheese and garlic salt.
Place second rectangle of dough on top of first.
Cut into 1/2″ strips.Twist each strip five times. Squeeze ends to seal.
Place on ungreased pan and bake in Easy-Bake Oven until golden brown.

Cherry Danish
Categories: Breads and Biscuits
1/4 cup biscuit mix
1/2 tablespoon margarine
3/4 teaspoon Sugar
4 teaspoons milk
1/2 tablespoon cherry pie filling

Combine baking mix, margarine and sugar. Mix until crumbly. Stir in milk until dough forms then beat 15 strokes.
Drop by 1/2 teaspoonful onto lightly greased baking pan. Indent by pressing thumb into middle. Fill indent with cherry pie filling.
Bake in Easy-Bake Oven until golden brown. Drizzle frosting over top.

To Make Frosting:
Use 1 teaspoon water and little vanilla. Add powdered sugar, mixing until smooth until desired consistency.

Cheesy Potato Hot Dogs
Categories: Main Dishes
2 hot dogs
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
cheddar or parmesan cheese; grated

Slice hot dogs into thirds. Split hot dogs the long way (not quite all the way through).
Fill split opening with mashed potatoes. Sprinkle top with cheese.
Bake in Easy-Bake Oven about 15 minutes or until heated through and slightly browned on top.

Gone are the days where meditation is reserved for new-age junkies that sit on a mountain top crossed legged chanting “Om”. Meditation has become more main stream and millions of people are benefiting from meditation’s therapeutic effects. But for moms who are juggling everything from soccer practices to conference calls, finding time to take a breather seems impossible. After all, where does meditation fit on the to-do list?

According to Miranda Davis, a Yoga and Meditation Master Trainer, meditation should become a part of a daily routine. “Meditation can benefit parents by taking us out of the busyness of life,” she says. “It requires us to go within and renew our minds and bodies.” Davis goes on to say, “Consider meditation as a method for daily renewal. It is an excellent tool for dealing with the everyday stress of parenting.” But how does a frazzled parent begin? Here are a few tips:

Find the Time
Finding the time to take a shower seems like a luxury let alone carving out time for meditation. However, the good news is that meditation does not require two hours apart from civilization. Five to ten minutes of un-interrupted space, free from children, spouses, pets and phones is enough to restore balance and reduce stress. Although any time will do, many experts suggest that the best time to meditate is within the hour-in-a-half before dawn or before dusk (http://momstoday.com/resources/articles/meditation.htm). If you’re worried that your body will calm right down into an unplanned slumber, Davis says “you may choose to set a timer which can help you stay on schedule.”

Setting the Stage
It just takes a little corner – a small space where you are away from distractions. An exercise mat and a few pillows will provide additional comfort. It is also recommended that you use lighting to assist in the process. Davis says, “We want to create a mood by lighting candles, playing soothing music, and using aromatherapy. This will make the space more conducive for relaxation.”

Take a Breather
There is really very little mystery about meditation. It simply begins with breathing. “When we begin meditation, we start with the breath as it is said to be the key in releasing the distractions of the mind,” says Davis. You want to lengthen the breath, slow and rhythmic– inhaling for four counts and exhaling for four counts. Breathing helps clear the mind of daily stresses. According to Davis, meditation can begin and end with controlled breathing. “For some that may be all that time will allow. You can certainly find the time to breathe deeply and clear the mind of the day’s stresses.”

Affirm and Focus
Other ways to enhance your meditation include focus and affirmations. By focusing on an object – a candle, a picture, or some sort of trinket – the image can be replicated in the mind after the eyes are closed. By releasing that image, you are in a meditative space. In addition, using positive affirmations can further enhance the experience. “Anything that is uplifting and encouraging can be used. This is basic and easy to follow. Repeating silently, ‘I am relaxed, I am calm.’ Repeating as necessary until this thought becomes a feeling.” That feeling can help sustain your sanity as you battle the details of life.

For moms, life is not really a balancing act – it’s more of a juggling act. We do our best to keep as many balls in the air before they come crashing down. Meditation offers an opportunity to restore internal balance and better equips us to deal with our daily drama. So find your little corner of the world and spend some time in focused harmony. Your soul will thank you!

I am not much for New Year’s Resolutions. The truth is, I will probably still have the extra 10 pounds (if not more) when December rolls around and it is unlikely that I will take that girl’s trip to Italy. However, there is one resolution that I really want to keep. I am calling it “Reading Resolution” – pretty catchy huh?

Not only do I want to add more to my personal reading list than soup labels and Pier One catalogs, I am also committed to reading more with my children. Our reading routine is inconsistent and sometimes sacrificed for sports, homework, and yes – T.V. Frankly, it had not been a big priority and I had done a lousy job leading by example (putting a television in my bedroom was a BIG mistake). However, someone once wrote, “The failure to read good books both enfeebles the vision and strengthens our most fatal tendency – the belief that the here and now is all there is” – Alan Bloom. The best way to get kids outside of their little worlds is through reading and I hope to provide the following structure to begin this process.

Book Hunt
It is off the library!! Now that my oldest is a proud owner of his first library card, he joins me in browsing for interesting books. In addition, talking to other moms or reading book reviews is a great way to build your child’s personal library.

Family Reading Time
Having scheduled time for reading is an excellent way to incorporate books into your daily routine. Bedtime is an obvious option. However, for older kids, having time for family members to read on their own emphasizes the importance of reading while, at the same time, provides much-needed quiet time for mom or dad.

Read to me
As painful as it is to sit with your child as he struggles through “The Hungry Caterpillar” for one millionth time – it is a wonderful exercise to prepare your child for reading out loud in other environments (like in front of Sassy Susie who is in the Red Robin Reading Group). One way to make reading out loud a little less painful is to offer to alternate reading every other page or every other chapter.

Talk About It
Once you’ve finished the book, it is time to talk. This allows for greater reading retention and provides an avenue of sharing. Warning: Asking Yes or No questions will likely result in a shrug or one word answer. Instead, find a way for the story to relate to your life or your family’s experiences.

Remember when you were a kid and birthday parties consisted of cake and ice cream and a few friends? Today, bounce houses, catered food, $30 goody bags, and live entertainment are the norm for a kid who’s turning two. Parents try to outdo each other by depleting their child’s college fund on her Sweet Sixteen party.

However, some parents are reacting to this trend by organizing a campaign called “Birthdays Without Pressure. Their website (www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com) intends to start a national conversation about the absurdity of today’s birthday parties. They have a wonderful section that lists examples of extreme measures parents take to ensure a successful event. Some include:

“A Chicago party invitation requests gift worth at least $35. The mother explains that last year her child received some gifts worth only $10, which did not even cover her costs. “

“Half birthday parties (like 9.5 years) are becoming the fashion in Chicago, so that if Johnny is unfortunate enough to have a winter birthday, he can have an outdoor summer party too.”

“In one community where ponies and horses are common, parents hire a llama for their child’s party.”

“A wealthy New York father throws a $10 million party for his 13 year old daughter’s birthday, including the band Aerosmith and $10,000 gift bags.”

Those who know me recognize that I have fallen into this birthday-party-pressure-trap. Although I have managed to stay on budget, I typically spend months planning for the special day. I had convinced myself that I was not trying to make a statement, I was trying to make a memory. However, this rationale fell apart when I took the Birthday Party Pressure Quiz found on the website. I scored 18 out of 20. They recommended having 911 on my speed dial for my next party.

There are some things that I am going to be doing differently when planning the next birthday.

1. Limit the Party Guests
   The standard equation should be the child’s age + 1. For example, my son is turning 7 so eight children are the limit. However, for the mothers of boys, please keep this in mind: the adage that “two heads are better than one” does not apply to boys. The intellectual capacity among boys in one room decreases as the number of boys in that room increases. For some reason, boys do stupid things when they are around their kind.
2. No Gifts Please
   As it is, you risk your life when you open our toy closet. It has turned into a graveyard of sorts for never-played with toys. The last things my kids need are more light sabers or stuffed animals.
3. It’s Not About Me
   This is not a competition. I don’t have anything to prove. I will not be considered a bad parent if the birthday party doesn’t have a live band or chocolate fountain.

I recently went to a birthday party where the mom (who is much smarter than me) held the event in an empty gym. She threw in 20 balls and let the kids be creative. When we left my son said, “that was the best party I have ever been to!”

The lesson here is that ingredients for making a memory do not always include bells and whistles. The trick is hosting a party where your child can feel special among friends and family. It’s kinda like the kid that gets the new wagon for Christmas only to spend the morning playing with the box it came in. Kids can manage to find fun in any situation – even if it doesn’t include a pony ride.